by Neil Auwarter
Last quarter we explored what economic theory identifies as the core challenge to climate action: the “tragedy of the commons.” But a tide of new research tells a different story. It suggests the primary obstacle to saving the Earth’s climate — and thus ourselves — is the same faced by bats, lizards and mollusks: The simple truth is that humans and their fragile climatic habitat have failed to capture the interest of the American public. While media darlings like tigers and giant pandas charm the public and inspire robust preservation efforts, humans, like other non-charismatic species, are regarded by the public with indifference. This appears to explain why many of us are uninterested in preserving the climate that sustains us.
The charismatic divide
Animal conservationists have long known that certain species possess an innate appeal inspiring interest and sympathy, while others do not. In 1970, British psychologist and animal rights activist Richard Ryder introduced the term “species charisma” to the lexicon of conservation science. Species charisma is a function of an animal’s aesthetic attractiveness, physical ability and behaviors. Charismatic species like polar bears and eagles readily generate public support and funding while animals like rats and mud carp are left in the cold.
Humans: charmlessness personified
Until recently, experts believed the charisma challenge was limited to non-human species like snakes and sponges. But it now appears humans fall squarely into the non-charismatic category. Physical appearance is a key factor. Developmental biologist Lors Karlssen explained: “A classic charismatic species, like a lion, is physically attractive its entire life-cycle, with plush fur and muscular physique.” By contrast, said Karlssen, “a human infant is essentially a hairless blob, while an elderly human resembles a raisin.”
Humans fare no better in physical ability. According to comparative biologist Melanie Creight, “humans are by weight one of the weakest organisms on the planet.” A barn owl in flight can carry prey close to its own body weight; an adult human, by contrast, may struggle opening a can of Pringles. A cheetah can run nearly 70 miles per hour; a peregrine falcon dive 300 miles per hour. But the average adult human can run only 14 miles per hour, even when being chased by a cheetah. And a human, even falling from a tall building, reaches a top speed of only 120 miles per hour, despite being heavier than a falcon. Some animals, like the giant sloth, manage to turn slowness into a comically appealing attribute. “But with humans,” said Creight, “it’s just kind of sad.”
In addition to being slow, weak and physically repulsive, humans engage in some repellent behaviors. “We’re very sneaky,” said Creight, “a feature we share with some particularly despised species like spiders, weasels and hyenas.” Another repugnant behavior is eating garbage. The public has a particular abhorrence for rubbish-eating species like vultures and maggots. “Like these unpopular creatures, humans eat copious amounts of garbage,” said Creight, returning to the Pringles example.
Charismatic people? Yes, but too few to matter
Scientists poring over raw data documented a few cases of highly charismatic humans, notably actors Judy Dench and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, media mogul Oprah Winfrey, and billionaire investor Warren Buffett. “However,” said data scientist Clair Voigal, “for every Warren Buffett there are ten Mark Zuckerbergs. For every Sir David Attenborough there are many Texas Senator Ted Cruzes; and for every astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, even more Mike Tysons.” Statistically,” concluded Voigal, “a handful of charming people is not enough to move the needle of public opinion.”
The homely hominid and climate apathy
Behavioral science experts now believe this human lack of charisma explains why large swaths of the public seem uninterested in the threat posed by a warming climate. Sociologist Phillip Tinderhorn explained: “People view climate action as a campaign to preserve the human species, and because humans are rather unappealing, the public is just not feeling it.” “This research has been a revelation,” said Natalie Pomfreit, professor of Logic and Decision Science at Reed College. “Until now it was a fundamental assumption survival was the overriding motivator in our behavior.” “But,” explained Pomfreit, “the new data shows just how tepidly the public regards humans, and it explains why the survival instinct in many people is trumped by short-term desires.” As examples, Pomfreit cited the desires for carbon-intensive products and activities like gasoline, palm oil and destination bridal showers in Cancun.
Solutions: Can the public be convinced to cherish humans and their imperiled climate?
Despite these startling findings, some conservation experts expressed optimism. “Now that we know the root cause of climate inaction, we can address it,” explained World Wildlife Federation’s Randy Tillbot. “We have lots of experience advocating for other non-charismatic species.” One time-tested strategy is the “species makeover.” A notable example is the Discovery Channel’s creation of “Shark Week” in 1988 to support shark preservation through education about the loathed predator. Taking a page from this playbook, Tillbert cited the WWF’s upcoming educational campaign, “Humans – Nature’s Lethal Weakling.”
Another strategy would be for humans to adopt behaviors that would actually make them more charismatic. This could entail practicing acts of kindness, learning empathy and mastering the art of conversation, according to relationship coach Brett Foigle. Humans could also behave more responsibly toward the Earth’s limited resources, “which could significantly boost their likeability in the public’s eye,” said climate psychologist April Fuerst. “We might also consider eating less garbage,” she added.
Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire, and any resemblance to real events is purely accidental… or is it? Either way, happy belated April Fool’s Day!